The feeling of falling again..

I never thought i would ever have this feeling again. Its been 2 years already. But she makes my heart beat so fast til i feel i cant breath properly.. I know i'm falling.. but i can't say the same for her..

Maybe she still takes me as a sub for her ex.. because we have the same surnames? i don't know.. but even if it is that way.. then im willing because i think i may have just fallen a little too deep to refused or reject her..

Its stupid i know. But i rather take the chance then lose it forever.. Maybe she won't like me just because i'm a fernandez.. I wish.. and i hope.. but if i'm wrong.. then i will just pick up the pieces once again and move on..

to blog or not to blog?

Always sitting here, i will have to think out i wanna say, yet when im just sitting staring at the skies, my thoughts overflows about everything.. thats y i like just sitting staring at the skies.. it allows me to ponder about everything even though certain things might not make sense.

I know some ppl drops by to read from time to time, but sorry i dont have anything to share, not that i dont want to. its just more easier to keep it to oneself and think it throughly by myself. There is really nthing much you can do to help even if you did know. So why bother?

1 step closer to my goals but..

need to walk through hell for my goals. it will be worth it. it has to be. LoLs.

Imagine after 2 years doing NS, you already more or less lost what was taught in poly days. N then your first job, they pick u up n throw u in a position where you don't know how they operate with only 1 senior to help you out! terrify or not!!?? LoLs.

I'm so afraid i will screw up and lose the job or other worse things will happen. >_< they keep telling to relax, to chill, that i will learn on the way and i only need to ask the 2 perm staff but they look so unreliable to ask.. like will eat you up if u keep bothering them with questions.. how..?

So it better be worth it, im walking through hell for my goals. Never to be looked down by anyone ever again.

Confused, Demoralised.

Went for 2nd interview today.. lets just say it didn't turn out better then e first time. sucks. I only get to know tmr if i get the job or not. so demoralising e interviewers words n questions. kaos.

confusing. to fly off or to start work if i can? crap, i never liked to make this kinda decisions. on 1 hand i would love to take the break and enjoy time with my cousin and folks + experience dubai. on the other i also love the job + its a good company to start off with + i need to get off my ass and start working already. damn.. choose or just go with e flow?

I so wanna complete all my stuff by year end but really wonder if its possible? im left with ccna exam, 5 lessons of driving then can book tp and 5 modules of mcse before i can take exam. hais.

on a lighter note. NS is completed. Diploma taken. CV is up and proper. Actively finding job. i just need to complete the abovementioned tasks. den next is getting that dream job & car + pick up more courses!

hwaiting!!

To the people in clubs~

• Please don't cut through the dance crowds just to get to e other side. is bloody irritating when you guys walk through squeezing, pushing only to go to the other side. THERE ARE ALTERNATE ROUTES AROUND THE DANCEFLOOR PEOPLE.

• Please don't head to e dance floor just to stand there and act cool. Does e word dancefloor make any sense to you? its meant for people to dance there! not just stand and act cool!! bloody taking up precious space.

• GUYS! Please don't make a fool of yourself by going to e danceflr and grinding againest some random chicks all around, ya basically just making a fool of yourself and not really dancing on e damn danceflr are ya?

• Because of guys acting like that, guyfriends of girls will form some kind of protective circle. ok. thats irritating, the danceflr don't just belong to you people, belongs to everyone! so don't just because of assholes mentioned above do this kinda things!! like i said before your bloody taking up precious space!!

and the ranting goes on.. as soon as i can think of anything else that pisses me off when i'm trying to enjoy the music and dance in the club.

On a bright side note i like to encourage everyone to really dance, embrace the music, feel the beat and move your body! Really on the contary nobody really notices you in the club unless ya doing something stupid like the abovemention few. Its like do you remember the guy yesterday standing next to you dancing his heart out? hmm... probably NOT.

So give it up to e music people!! XD